You are what you watch.

TV, Movies, Web, Books, and other extraneous things, and why some are worth your time and money - mostly

Monday, October 10, 2005

Rent the Movie



I have got to be the only fag who isn't dying to see the new Rent movie (November 23). It just there's a lot going against it. First of all, there' Chris Columbus (I picked an appropriate day to post about him). Chris is, right now, the only director I actively hate. First he butchered Harry Potter, and stuck potentially competent future directors with all of his bad decisions, like Daniel Ratcliffe. He also made the emotionally manipulative sob-fest Stepmom, and the first Home Alone, which also makes him responsible for Macaulay Caulkin. Clearly we can't expect great cinematic things from him, which is going to be needed to help the film step out of the shadow of the obscenely popular stage version.
Then there's the cast. Theoretically I praise the idea of keeping the entire Broadway original cast, instead of pumping it full of A-list Mediocrities (Ashton Kutcher as Mark, anyone?). But while the cast was perfect ten years ago, that was ten years ago. Now, some of them are kind of... old. So much of Rent is about being young and finding yourself, being in your twenties and wondering where you going in life. It's hard to picture Jesse L. Martin (or as I call him, the black guy on Law and Order) playing twenty-something. And watching the trailer, he's not the only one who seems a little too old.
The last thing that worries me is over saturation. When I first saw the rent trailer in Theaters, my best friend literally screamed with excitement at the opening cords. Then we went back to the dorm, and she played it on line. Again and again. And sung along. By now I'm so sick of it, I can't imagine paying ten dollars to this movie.

It could be worse though. I mean, it could have been rewritten as a futuristic action-adventure flick starring Tom Cruise and Jessica Simpson, with Angel reduced to a sassy black side-kick played by Star Jones. (I have an active imagination) That actually sounds like a more interesting challenge actually. If I actually had readers, I'd challenge them to rewrite Rent as a Sci-fi Action Movie (for starters, how many minutes in a Martian year?)

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