You are what you watch.

TV, Movies, Web, Books, and other extraneous things, and why some are worth your time and money - mostly

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Birthday Gift Run down (with Commentary)

In an unprecedented (pun intended) break with tradition, I actually got great birthday presents this year.  I won’t go into my past traumas but suffice it to say I came close not opting not to celebrate my birthday, like my father does.  If you’re wondering whether there is any content in this or if it’s just vanity, there is going to be content, actually.

From my parents I got two cool books, 1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die and The Film Encyclopedia and the DVD of La Dolce Vita (which they admitted to having picked somewhat at random from 1001 Movies).  I haven’t had a chance to see Dolce yet, but I’m very excited to.  The Film Encyclopedia seems like it’s basically a print copy of IMDB, except slightly more authoritative. But I’ve spent hours reading 1001 movies.   I’d estimate I’ve seen maybe 50 of the movies in it, so it seems like I’ve got my work cut out to me, especially when it comes to old movies.  I had a few critiques of their selection, mostly things that could have to do with time frame.  The most recent movie in the bunch was Million Dollar Baby, so obviously anything after that is out, but still, they have Kill Bill 1 but not Kill Bill 2, and Being John Malkovich but not Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Hopefully a future addition, when they’ve had more time to think about what recent movies they will include, will make these corrections as well as ideally removing the insipid Meet the Parents and correcting the fairly obvious errors in they’re Return of the King entry.  I love to criticize, but it’s mostly a wonderful book, full of interesting if brief commentary on great films.

From my sister I got an equally quirky book, When I Knew, a collection of stories nominally about people realizing they were gay.  More of the stories are actually comical anecdotes about how gay the contributors were as children (feinting when Judy Garland died, subscribing to Women’s Wear Daily at Choate, etc) or coming out stories (“When I told [my grandmother] that I was a Lesbian, she said, ‘No you’re not, you’re Romanian.  On your father’s side.’”)  It’s accompanied by bright pictures and colors, lots of them, that only occasionally water down the content.  It’s not exactly deep, the moving, serious stories are a little tedious, but it’s fun to read on the John.

Friday, October 28, 2005

One BIg Fat Bloated Gorilla

Movie & TV News @ - Studio Briefing

Before I begin my breif analysis of KIng Kong, today is my 18th birthday. If you'd like, here is my Amazon wishlist.

Now, Peter Jackons new movie is going to cost 207,000,000$. King Kong will cost more than 2 lord of the rings, and be 3 and half hours long. I can't wait!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Rosa Parks

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Carson's new book: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Books: You're Different and That's Super
I'm sorry, but this book looks positively nauseating.
First of all, I hate, HATE. celebrities who write children's books. Just as a matter of principal. It just reeks of exploitation to the most easily exploited. A celebrity's name may be cheap trick to get parents to look at a picture book, but seriously, is nothing sacred?
A good childrens book is a wonderful thing, it's beautiful, almost like a proto-graphic novel.

Artistic differences aside, Carson's (of Queer Eye, of course) book just looks stupid.
"The spring that Trumpet was born, there were so many new foals in the pasture that almost no one notices there was a sassy little colt who didn't belong to any of the mares...."
We get it, being gay is ok. It's Daddy's Roommate soaked in sugar and sprinkled with gay stereo types. "A sassy little colt"... I'm nauseous just thinking about it.
I'm sympathetic to the idea of childrens books that teach kids about homosexuality (although in the ideal world, kids would figure it out from their experiences with their parents gay friends). But I can't help but wonder if a big gay stereotype, written by a big gay stereotype, is the right message.

Angry Little Girls! Webcomic & Lost Fandom: I'm Out of Control

Welcome to Angry Little Girls! Another new favorite comic.

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I've been... busy. I have applications and a shitload of school work. really, way to much. I've also started relieving tension by transcribing episodes of lost. In case you're wondering, I'm not doing it out of sheer lost dorkdom (even though it is the absolutely best show on tv, hands down no competition.). I actually got the idea here.
In fact, the very first script I ever "wrote" was an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation," which I literally transcribed from tape... For the cost of a few hours, I learned a lot about scene length and story pacing, and it got me over my fear of screenplays.
-- John August (screenwriter of Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride[side note, all these movies are awesome, go see them now])

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Anonymous Lawyer

Anonymous Lawyer
Have I posted about this blog yet? It's hysterical.
"Unless we can somehow train that dog to do something useful. Maybe eat some paper we need to destroy, and bill the client for that. Maybe he can bark at some opposing counsel and scare them into accepting our settlement. That we could bill. Maybe he could just pee on someone. Not billable, but fun to watch."

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

iPod: Worth a Thousand Words

I was pleasantly suprised by the new Worth1000 contest; inserting coporate logos into "unexpected places."

The Colbert Report - Eh

Tonight marked the premiere of the Colbert Report (for the uninitiated, don't pronounce either of the T's). Given the shadow of the Daily Show to stand in, it was understandable that former Daily Show correspondent Stephen Colbert's new news show paled in comparison.
The Colbert Report tries to spoof the O'Reilley Factor and shows of that ilk, with which I am entirely unfamiliar, so it's possible that most of the humor simply went over my head. However I also don't watch the TV news broadcasts that Jon Stewart spoofs (I'm an NPR guy, myself), and that has never come between me and my Daily Show love. The thing that was really unpleasant about Colbert was his blustery falseness. This was cute in his short bits on the Daily Show, but with out sweet, nebbishy Jon as his strait man or the dumbfounded subjects of his correspondence reports, the charm is all gone. There are numerous jokes about his massive ego, for example the show opens by chronicling all the different places where Colbert's name appeared on the set, including a C shaped desk, and later Colbert stood next to a portrait of himself standing next to a portrait of himself. He comes off as too disingenuous to be compelling.The one bright spot one the show was the third act. After a bland headline bit and a forced interview with Stone Philips, Colbert and Philips faced off for a “gravitas face-off” of sorts, each struggling to read increasingly absurd and dada news headlines with classic Journalistic seriousness. It was the funniest bit in the show.
It will be worth watching the show, if for nothing else, because it will continue Colbert’s Daily Show segment This Week in God, one of the best recurring bits on the Daily Show. I’m also a perpetual optimist. Maybe it’s just going through it’s Craig Kilborn phase, and it will rapidly improve (Kilborn was the insipid pre-Stewart host of the Daily Show)

Monday, October 17, 2005

Mea Culpa: just how many of the top ten Weblog Usability mistakes did I commit?

I found an excellent resource for young, naive, amateur bloggers (although, in a sense aren't all bloggers amatures?), the top ten Weblog Usability mistakes AK just how much I totally and completely suck at this still.

here they are, with my analysis of my errors.

1. No Author Biographies

I haven't yet written a biography, but I certainly will now. I'm pretty shy and private, and I get kind of paranoid about the internet. I've now started writing a bio, which should be up soon.

2. No Author Photo

I mentioned already I'm paranoid and shy. I have low self esteem. I'm afraid I'll become like that fat Japanese kid who always gets photoshopped and put in flash videos. I'm going to have to think harder about putting up a photo. I might not, at least unless people want to see my Shana Punum.

3. Nondescript Posting Titles

I sometimes do this, and sometimes not. Some examples of bad titles of mine I'm testing link titles by putting more appropriate names as the title, so scroll over and see:
Minor Problem
All the Build Up is Over
Good Morning

But I tend to do good, or at least decent titles (like this one), just look to the left at my recent posts and see for your self.
I'm only counting this as half a sin for me.

4. Links Don't Say Where They Go

I also sort of do this (see this recent post for some examples) but I don't think it's so bad. I click on stuff like that all the time (maybe cause I'm a n00b) you can see the URL in the bar at the bottom of the browser, and you can often ascertain based on context where it will send you. I'll try to use link titles, too. I'll take a half point on this, too.

5. Classic Hits are Buried

I'm so screwed. I don't do this, but then again, I don't think I really have any classic hits to highlight. I could browse my archive and see what's good, though... Then I'd have to figure out where to put them. With all the other shit in my left column.

6. The Calendar is the Only Navigation

In my own defense, I don't know how to categorize posts, except maybe with tags, which I don't think is what he means.

7. Irregular Publishing Frequency

Aha! One I'm relatively good on. I post pretty steadily every day, I miss one every once and a while, but some days I post more than once. So yeah, I'm regular!

8. Mixing Topics

I try to stay vaguely focused, and am vaguely focused by my new name. I tend to cover things broadly, but rarely too far out of the realm of media & culture, which is pretty broad.

9. Forgetting That You Write for Your Future Boss

Ah, this is one I understand. As I mention, I'm very self-conscious so I don't post things I don't want people to read about me (like that hooker I killed, I never talked about her).

10. Having a Domain Name Owned by a Weblog Service

... I'll work on this one. I swear. As soon as I get a credit card, I'll register something. Although I don't think a ".blogspot" is so bad, I mean, at least it's not Xanga.

So let us see, of ten mistakes, I make about seven of them. And I have to wait all the way till next Yom Kippur to atone.

The Colbert Report Premieres Tonight

The new Daily Show spinoff The Colbert Report debuts tonight on Comedy central. I haven't been keeping up on the buzz for it, but it looks pretty exciting. Stephen Colbert has long been one of the Daily Show's best "correspondents" and the Daily Show has long been one of the best shows on TV. On the other hand I'm quite suspicious of all spin-offs, and this one is by no means garrunteed success. I'll post a full review later tonight, after I've seen it.

Also, I tried to post earlier about how Time magazine's article about aging mentioned masturbation as an anti-aging habit but the comp crashed right before I was able to post it, which is a shame, but it was a really good post. Oh well.

CollaborativeRank -- All my hard work as paid off

CollaborativeRank -- search engine
When I talked about my addiction, the social tagging service, I mentioned a website called collaborative rank that showed the most influential users. At the time I was number 767. It was my goal to rise into the top 500 aka on the main page. I thought this would take months of patiently tagging while I slowly climbed to the top.
Well, 3 days later, I'm number 463, biatch!

International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics (Do we get our own water fountains too?

International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics
Here's what I don't get. Why do we need our own special swim teams? Is Homo Polo that different from regular water polo?
For that matter, why do we need our own Olympics, our own choirs, our own schools?

On some level I'm not being fair. Not all gay people like meeting guys at discos, gyms, and truck stops. As for the school, I entertained fantasies of going to an all gay high school for a long time. On the other hand, the issue of self-segregation is important, too.

So I'm conflicted.

Take your mind off the subject by basking in the glow of Michael Phelps. Below the neck he's incredibly hot, and above he's, well, let's call him "endearingly homely." (I have first heard that phrase in reference to gay composer Aaron Copland, but who do you really want to see naked?)

This is the first time I've officially broken my no-gratuitous-off-topic-hot-nearly-naked-guys-in-post rule. I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would.

PS. this all came about because of Queerty.

Friday, October 14, 2005

More on the new iTunes

I promised in my earlier post on iTunes that I'd post some links to interesting articles I'd read about it. Unlike when I usually outline what I'll post in the future, this time, I'm actually keeping my promise.

Hollywood Calls for Cut of Video IPod Pie

How Bob Iger Saved Network TV

The Clicker: Apple’s real plan for iPod video?

Also check out the tags for iTunes and iPod, which is how I found these articles.

Simple Yes or No Sex Answers

Simple Yes or No Sex Answers
These are some of the dumbest questions I've ever heard asked. This is why we can't allow abstinence only education. Here are some dumb question samples:

Dear RSA,
If I masturbate and cum on my hands, then wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water, and then four to five hours later finger my girlfriend, is it possible that sperm residue can get my girlfriend pregnant?
Doug, U.S.

Answer - No.

Dear RSA,
My boyfriend wants me to say his name while having sex. Is this normal?
Anonymous, U.S.

Answer - Yes.

Dear RSA,
Is there anything wrong about my girlfriend being afraid to be handcuffed to the bed?
Elvis, N.Y.

Answer - No.

Want to hear some more... complicated questions? check out Dan Savages weekly advice column Savage Love. That's some fucked up shit.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 = awesome

So, first of all, I got it off German, although now it doesn’t really matter because I’m now writing from within Word. That’s a relief.
If this word thing works the way I think it does, and I think it does, I’ll be a much happier person. For example, I’ve been dying to be able to footnote my posts. EDIT: Ix-nay on the ootnotes-fay. I got an error message until I deleted the footnote. They should keep this in mind for their next bug fixes.

Anyway, I wanted to talk a little about If you’re unfamiliar with, it’s a tagging program. Every time I and tens of thousands of other people read a web page that we find interesting, we post it to For example: I recently read an article at Wired Magazine about alien abductees, so I decided to tag it. I tagged the site with the tags weird, aliens, spacetravel, abductions. As you can see, if you click on the links, you can see everything that I’ve tagged with those words, which is not much, since that doesn’t really interest me that much. These are my top ten tags: gay, funny, humor, queer, blog, media, movies, weird, reference, books.
From the site of my links, you can see what everyone has published under those links, see things tagged with 2 distinct links (say movies and scifi) to narrow your search. And pretty much every page has an RSS feed, so you can subscribe to everything that’s posted to it. It’s a great and growing tool for media browsing.
You can also go to Collaborative Rank and see the most influential users. I rank number 767. Out of 50,690, that’s not bad.
For more information on tagging, check this screencast or check things I’ve tagged.

Minor problem

I'm having a minor problem. Blogger now thinks I'm German. The whole sight is in German, and as such, I can't figure out how to change it back. That's why I'm posting this, let's call it a plea. If anyone out there reads this, and knows how to change blogger back to English, I'd really appreciate it. Just leave a comment, or "Kommentare." Or if you;d prefer e-mail me at bigblusam at aol dot com. If you don't know, of course, you can still leave a comment or send an e-mail, validate my existence.

All the build up is over...

After about a week of all the fag blogs in a tizzy over the alleged pink Madonna iPod nano, I was not expecting anything bigger from the Apple announcement, (well, that and the video-pod, or the iPorn, as it's been christened.) we got the new pod, but no pink, alas. (If you still want a funky looking MP3 player, get an mp3 pez, instead)
But what's really, really, really, really exciting is the new iTunes video store (did I mention it's exciting). If it's successful, it could be the biggest shift in serialized long-form cinematic narratives (aka TV shows) ever. First of all, it puts my name into full use. This is a huge leap for active media consumption. It's been a long time coming. It began with the VCR. Suddenly, you could watch a show whenever you wanted, it was just a bit of a hassle. Then TiVo made the whole process simple, digital and automated. Around the same time, people began illegally downloading shows off BitTorrent, Kazaa and Limewire (thanks to high speed internet the files took hours instead of days to load). Audiences were now able to watch whatever when ever with amazing ease. At the same time, this was threatened to undermine the whole system that made expensive programs possible in the first place. TiVo, bittorrent, and even DVD's allow the audience to circumvent advertisements. The whole television industry is based on the myth that TV audiences watch and are influenced by ads, instead of changing the channel, muting the screen or going to the bathroom during them. Now viewers were able to get the content, without (with the exception of DVD sales) the network getting a penny (or a ratings point) from the viewer.
This is where the new iTunes comes in. We get the same ease as bittorrent (I haven't tested it yet, so I don't know about the speed yet) without risking arrest or ripping off our favorite shows (God knows Arrested Development needs the money).
But that's not all. If it catches on, and I mean if, cause it's not certain, it could totally change the TV landscape. First of all, it would dampen or remove the advertiser's ability to judge content (we might finally get a gay kiss on TV) because the advertiser would no longer be the source of revenue (this is why HBO/Showtime shows are so much better).
Some of the content rules might be able to be relaxed (bleeped black-barred version could be broadcast, and then an uncensored one could be downloaded, hurrah for cursing and tits!). We might even (and this would be awesome) be able to get some indie TV, now that there's a means to distribute it.
Nielson would lose it's ability to dictate to dictate what is and is not popular (right now, only some 8-10,000 families are Nielson monitored to represent the tens of millions of people watching TV at any given moment.)
With TV sold on-line to the mainstream, the market would become more forgiving to slow starters and cult hits, since the network wouldn't be losing nearly as much money waiting for a show like Firefly or Pasadena to find an audience (Pasadena was the first prime-time soap I ever watched, it ran for three whole episodes, and I saw them all, you lucky bastards with SOAPnet can still watch all thirteen though)

So in summary of my rant. iTunes selling TV = power to the people! So go, buy Lost, Desperate Housewives and show them who's boss!

But what of the electric hearth itself? Does it have a future? Yes, maybe. Web video will never be able to replace live programming, news, sports, weather, etc. It will take decades to for net shows to take over regular broadcast, for a lot of reasons. First of all, it's easier to try something new if it's free. And some programs are just more fit for active consumption than others. I mean, people may be dying to fork over 2$ for the Sopranos, but would people want to spend money to watch shows like the food networks "top 5". Some programs are best consumed passively, just watching whatever's on. I don't do this, but it's quite a popular pastime and it won't go anywhere fast.
There's also the quality issue. For obvious reasons any digital movie you download will have low clarity and mediocre sound, not to mention that you'll have to watch on a computer screen, the largest of which are just the size of medium TV's, to say nothing of watching a show on a 2.5 inch iPod screen. Meanwhile TV picture and sound have just been getting better and better.
There's also the appeal of flipping channels and serendipitously finding something you might not have other considered watching.
And DVR's like TiVo and Video-on-Demand won't be replaced either, but will be an alternative akin to downloading shows off Napster, with a monthly rate instead of per-movie fee.

I feel like I'm missing a lot of points, and if I come across some other interesting analysis of TV downloading, I'll post them here.


Fuck the iPod! I want one of these.

As you can see (for those who read my last post) I'm still not asleep yet

Good Morning

Happy miserable fucking Yom Kippur, everybody. It's just past two AM. I just switched back from Stratera to Concerta/Ritalin (some of each, the whole thing is very complicated). Anyway, I'd completely forgotten that the Concerta keeps me up at night. So here I am. In twelve hours, not only will I be exhausted, but I will be starving too. Great! Fucking Great. As you can tell, I curse a lot more when I'm tired.
I practically came my pants when I heard iTunes was going to start selling Lost and other ABC/Disney programs (but we all know others will be on the way). Tomorrow, you'll be treated to my in depth analysis of it, so stay tuned. I'd recommend subscribing via an RSS feed like bloglines. You can see my blogroll to the left, I check my bloglines more than I check my e-mail. If it weren't for the RSS feeds I wouldn't read any blogs at all.

PS. Any one subscribed to me via RSS? That would keep you off my Sitemeter, I think, and I would love to hear from you.
PPS. I also get needy late at night. Maybe I'll start taking Ambien or Lunesta too. Medications rock. Now all I need is magically-get-into-college elixir, instant-hot-boyfriend serum, and guaranteed-oscars pills and my life will be perfect.

PPS. I love shuffle so much. It just brought up Chim Chim Cher-ee from Mary Poppins. I always forget how much I love that movie. Ahh, Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke my cup runneth over. (also no gayer name that Dick can Dyke, get it, Dick, Dyke, I crack myself up)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Japundit - Japan = weird


Yes we get it. Japan is weird. Watch Anime for five minutes and that point is driven home. And yet, Japundit, a blog chronicling all weird things Japanese people do, is endlessly entertaining.
Non-sensical T-shirts, sumo-wrestling, borderline traumatic photo's of a Thai religious festival where people pierce their cheeks and tongues with common household items (like a house lamp or a lawnmower engine), not to mention all those weird sex practices....

I wonder what the Japanese think of us.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Rent the Movie

I have got to be the only fag who isn't dying to see the new Rent movie (November 23). It just there's a lot going against it. First of all, there' Chris Columbus (I picked an appropriate day to post about him). Chris is, right now, the only director I actively hate. First he butchered Harry Potter, and stuck potentially competent future directors with all of his bad decisions, like Daniel Ratcliffe. He also made the emotionally manipulative sob-fest Stepmom, and the first Home Alone, which also makes him responsible for Macaulay Caulkin. Clearly we can't expect great cinematic things from him, which is going to be needed to help the film step out of the shadow of the obscenely popular stage version.
Then there's the cast. Theoretically I praise the idea of keeping the entire Broadway original cast, instead of pumping it full of A-list Mediocrities (Ashton Kutcher as Mark, anyone?). But while the cast was perfect ten years ago, that was ten years ago. Now, some of them are kind of... old. So much of Rent is about being young and finding yourself, being in your twenties and wondering where you going in life. It's hard to picture Jesse L. Martin (or as I call him, the black guy on Law and Order) playing twenty-something. And watching the trailer, he's not the only one who seems a little too old.
The last thing that worries me is over saturation. When I first saw the rent trailer in Theaters, my best friend literally screamed with excitement at the opening cords. Then we went back to the dorm, and she played it on line. Again and again. And sung along. By now I'm so sick of it, I can't imagine paying ten dollars to this movie.

It could be worse though. I mean, it could have been rewritten as a futuristic action-adventure flick starring Tom Cruise and Jessica Simpson, with Angel reduced to a sassy black side-kick played by Star Jones. (I have an active imagination) That actually sounds like a more interesting challenge actually. If I actually had readers, I'd challenge them to rewrite Rent as a Sci-fi Action Movie (for starters, how many minutes in a Martian year?)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Language Change

I noticed an interesting linguistic change in my history text book, A Pocket History of the United States. I read this sentence:
The patriot forces were at first wretchedly organized.
This confused me. Just a few pages earlier I'd read that we were "undisciplined and half-armed." I underlined the sentence, thinking that this sort of contradiction was something I could base my paper on. Then after a few minutes puzzling it out I realized what was going on. When Commager and Nevins wrote "wretchedly", in 1942, the meant "very badly" organized. But I read it to mean, overly organized. To my 2005 eyes "wretchedly organized" connoted a high level of organization, so overly organized that it was wretched.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Flash:: French Erotic Film or Colin Mochrie versus Jesus H. Christ

Flash: French Erotic Film or Colin Mochrie versus Jesus H. Christ

I never quite understood why the obsession with Colin Mochrie, the Canadian comic and improviser of Whose Line is it anyway (for those who only recognize him as that bald guy in all those flash cartoons), took hold of the community of crappy flash animators. Of all C, D, and E listers, they picked an obscure and unattractive Canuck gets all this screentime now. It's kind of creepy. Although the whole flash animation scene (as highlighted by the catchy example above) is kind of an odd phenomenon. The amateur experimentations end up being a patchwork of our pop culture with neither deeper meaning nor any real comedic value. People watch them for A) the mildly catchy techno/indie music and b) the it-was-kind-of-funny-once juxtopisition of BIll Cosby, Papa Smurf, and the creepy guy who dresses like Peter Pan.
It's an odd phenomenon, I must admit. I also must say that I've been making myself feel very intellegent in analyzing it.

PS. I'll have the Hobbit song stuck in my head all week.
PPS. Ever wonder who writes Frodo/Sam and Elijah Wood/Dominic Monaghan Porn? Check out this fascinating profile in the Chi-town reader and feast on some lovely Theban Band pics. (almost breaks my rule of no porn, if it weren't sot.)

Mouth of America Network :: MOANtv

Mouth of America Network :: MOANtv: the Daily Set Tour Across America
This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. I can't wait for it to come to Chicago

Monday, October 03, 2005 What Would Tyler Durden Do? What Would Tyler Durden Do?
It's hard not to be curious about something that invokes the great Tyler Durden (the Christ/Anti-Christ leader in Fight Club, one of the greatest films ever made. Also, Tyler is played by the obscenely beautiful Brad Pitt.)
But WWTDD is everything Tyler would hate. Take the post on top, right now, as I read it. To the real Tyler, the only thing worse than even knowing who Anne Hathaway is is caring what she's wearing. Tyler was all about counter culture, or really anti-culture. He was a violently back to nature primitivist. The last thing I can imagine Tyler Durden doing is reading WWTDD.
I, on the other hand, love celebrity gossip and will probably find this is one of my favorite blogs. (That is if it had an RSS feed, I'm too lazy to seek it out)

PS. Shanah Tovah!!!

Boing Boing: 400-meter asteroid currently has 1-in-60 chance of hitting Earth

Boing Boing: 400-meter asteroid currently has 1-in-60 chance of hitting Earth
I was going to post about the movies I saw this weekend (Serenity and Lord of War, in summary, see both) but according to boing boing, we're all going to die, so why bother. And this is assuming that the avian bird flu doesn't wipe us out first.