You are what you watch.

TV, Movies, Web, Books, and other extraneous things, and why some are worth your time and money - mostly

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Start spreading the news

I'm leaving today
I'm gonna be a part of it
New York, New York

That's right, I'm going to NYC tomorrow. This almost certainly means my posting volume will drop, if it doesn't then it'll mean I'm not making any friends...

Meantime, as always, check out the podcasts at right. I especially recommend Madge, who yesterday was promoting something I've been saying way before Michael Moore said it on Barbara Walters, namely that Oprah needs to run for president. Winfrey 08!!! Personally I'd like to see her face off against Mel Gibson.

I'm not sure if I'll return or not. It's quite probable I'll simply lose interest, It's happened before at my old Xanga. If you happen to be here and you think it's worth my coming back, I encourage you to leave me a comment saying as much.

Monday, June 20, 2005

FOUND Magazine

FOUND Magazine
If you haven't checked out found magazine yet, you're missing out. I'm about to send them some stuff. It'll be good not to have the "Friends don't let friends wear penises" sign cluttering up my desk.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

The Elmore Leonard Website - Weblog

The Elmore Leonard Website - Weblog
Did anyone else know that Elmore Leonard has a podcast? I didn't, obviously or it wouldn't be newsworthy. I haven't listened to it yet, so I don't know much about it. If anyone even reads this site, and wants to fill me in on EL's podcast, that would be cool.

I know no one reads this. I get like 1 reader a day and the stay for "0 seconds" according to site meter. It's only been a couple weeks, though, so of course I don't have any readers yet. That and I do nothing to promote myself. I still feel funny tagging my own posts, even though I think you are supposed to. If you read this, please please, leave some sort of comment. Just copy & paste "I read your blog, it didn't totally suck." I know I'm needy, but I'm allowed.
PS. If I do suck (aka, I get really needy) tell me do, so I can improve. I've resisted being needy for a really long time, though, I deserve some credit. No, I need to call my sponsor.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Stella - First Look

Comedy Central - Events - Stella - First Look
You can watch the entire first episode of Stella online. It's... special. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's pretty funny.
It kind of makes you want to pat the producers on the head and tell them they're special.

Friday, June 17, 2005

HBO or the Comeback sucks and Pornucopia doesn't

I spent the last hour and 1 half watching the HBO, which is nearing it's decline, I think. See all their good shows (Sex & the City, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos) are on their way out. They still have Deadwood (I admit I fell out of touch this season), but carnival is overwrought and stupidly esoteric (You can almost hear the writers going "dude, so then, the fetus moves! Did I just blow your mind or what?" then reaching for the bong), and the comeback, which I saw for the first time tonight, well it was just pathetic.
Pathetic is really the perfect word for the Comeback, Lisa Kudrow's new psuedoreality show. Her character is remarkably pathetic in every scene, to her constant humiliation. I've never liked humiliation comedy, it always makes me cringe instead of laugh. But normal humiliation comedies are bearable. Take your average Ben Stiller movie. Act one establishes Ben is a nebbishy neurotic Jew in love with the perfect shiksa girlfriend, in act two, most of the movie, he blunders through every sort of humiliation (bodily fluids, lighting things on fire, etc) for the payoff in act 3 when he finally gets, or keeps, the girl. So it's manageable and kind of funny. But Lisa Kudrow's character, Valerie Cherish, is just pathetic. She's an airheaded, washed up narcissist who knows she's washed up and knows everyone knows she's washed up. While Stiller humiliates himself to win the shiksa goddess, Valerie has no payoff, either way it's bad. For example, in the pilot, she tries out for the pilot of a sitcom and gets the sitcom. As a viewer, there was no real emotional investment in her trials at hasbeendom, I didn't even feel sorry for her, I just wished she'd do something meaningful. And in the end, with the big tension about whether or not her show will get picked up, there's no good outcome. Either her show doesn't get picked up and she's still depressed and washed up, or it does get picked up, and she plays the humiliating role of Aunt Sassy (exactly what it sounds like). Either way she loses
While most HBO shows feature rich inner emotional lives, Valerie is an empty character. I already called her narcissistic, and the shows awkward conceit of being a what appear to be "scenes from the cutting room floor" of a reality show only highlight her self involvement. She completely ignores her husband and walks all over everyone else, without ever forming any sort of relationship with them.
There was also not a single funny joke in the whole show. Enough said.

On the other hand, Pornucopia, part of HBO's its-not-porn-it's-a-documentary-I-swear series, Real Sex, was actually kind of fun. While it's main goal is clearly pornographic rather than educational, it's still a fascinating look at porn. Unlike Cherish who's boring and narcissistic, the porn people portrayed on the show, which deals solely with the glitzier upper levels of porn, are reasonably down to earth, and the main characters, Jenna Haze and I cannot remember or find on Google the name of the other girl, are both interesting to observe, especially in what they don't say. They both act like everything's just great in the porn industry, but whenever they get uncomfortable they both resort to a very telling highpitched giggle to avoid the subject. For a straight man the show must be titillating, but for a gay man like me, Pornucopia's 75% lesbian scenes and 24% straight scenes can be viewed objectively as entertainment.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

50 Fun Things To Do With Your iPod (

50 Fun Things To Do With Your iPod (
This one's a fun list. there are only 44, but I'm not complaining. The only one I'm actually doing is the piPod, as preperation for my month in New York.

Gosh, I wonder if the thought of spending 5 weeks in a strange city in a program full of strangers might have been what was actually keeping me up last night...
Why do I even bother paying my schrink? I do all the hard work... Like figuring out that I always forget to shave from a subconscious desire to prove my masculinity. Speaking of shaving and my schrink, those are both things I should do in the next 2 hours, instead of playing with my iPod and then talking about it here.

Sad and Self Hating

so I'm kind of sad, cuase I officially read every comic in the QC archive. That's kinda sad in the pathetic sense, too.
I didn't fall asleep until 7:oo I heard the morning birds singing and watched the sun rise through my blinds. I even tricked my sister into walking the dog for me when I woke up at 1:oo. This insomnia is gonna kill me. I think I'll just have to watch Fight Club to scare me out of staying awake for days on end. That movie is mind-blowingly awesometastic. I've used that phrase before, right?
Again sorry about failing to be interesting or even pretending to be interesting. See, I can self hate with the best of them. Wait till I get into my body issues. JK. I only do that to suspected terrorists at Gitmo.

Questionable Content: 316 Post-Funny

Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday
Quote of the day: "He's like an incontinent kitten, endearing but you don't want him on top of you."

I really wish I'd fallen asleep last night. I think I was traumatized by that Oprah about baby-rapers. I wish I was kidding.

The Freetime Paradox

You'd think that now that I'm free of school and the associated chores, I'd be able to devote more of my time to writing insightful articles for my blog, and then promoting said blog so that more than 1 person read said insightful arguments. But, thanks to the Freetime Paradox, You've gotten lots of lame little posts like my Tom Lehrer Quote and the male stripper series of reviews, and fewer of the more insightful articles I wrote, like my Downing Street Rant and my philosophizing about science. Awww, who am I kidding, I was never very insightful.
But my point, Blessed with an abundance of freetime, I haven't done very much productive, even in the broad sense of the world where posting here is productive.

And this brings me back to the Freetime Paradox. That is the less free time I have, the more I will make free time to do things that are important to me, like write.
So, although my stream of real content has slowed, you can look forward to a veritable torrent next fall when I will be taking English(reading Anna Karennina), Latin, Spanish, Pre-Calculus, Human Behavior, and US History, not to mention applying to college. So, being so busy, I will no doubt post six or seven times a day, while writing a chapter a week. Hallelujah!

while I'm here, I wanted to direct y'all (see, I'm not out of touch with the South), with a really interesting article I found out about from Buff's Tufftalk, one of the blogs I subscribe to at Bloglines. The article is about boys who are kicked out of polygamous communities to raise the female to male ratio, it answered that nagging question about how all those guys had all those wives. I mean there had to be a lot of queens or bachelors, right?

PS, why this long content filled post at three o'clock in the fucking morning? Tomorrow is the first morning in about a week where I actually have to get up and do something, so naturally I can't sleep tonight, just with the minor obligation of walking my dog before eleven o'clock. I lead a life of pathetic luxury, I know.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The End of the Michael Jackson Trial

NPR : The End of the Michael Jackson Trial

I of course, do not pretend to have anything new or interesting to say about the over exposed Micheal Jackson trial, but John Powers aired this interesting (and brief) commentary on the subject, which I will direct you to.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

"Life is like a sewer:

what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.'"
--Tom Lehrer

Monday, June 13, 2005

Radio Memories

New Page 1
This is one of the coolest new podcasts I've found, worth the extra time listening. They take old radio shows from the hayday of radio and podcast them, with brief historical context. I've only listened to one so far, an old Phillip Marlowe mystery, based on the works of Raymond CHandler. Way cool.
You're also encouraged to look at any of the podcasts linked at left (if for no other reason than to reward me for teaching myself enough html to put them there).

Why I Believe In God, Or My Little Epiphany

I was sitting in synagogue last night, using my ADD to entertain myself, when I sort of accidentally logicked my way into an explanation for believing in God.

There are no new ideas therefore
Everything comes from something therefore
If we can imagine something there must be something akin to it (or with it's parts, think horse + human = centaur) Therefore
Because we are capable of thinking of God, God must exist, because nothing else in existence even closely resembles god
"I am that I am"

I'm beginning to doubt that this makes any sense, I'd love to debate it with someone, so I encourage you to comment and point me in the direction of any real philosophers who have thought something similar, or to try to disprove me.
The biggest argument against this is the idea that God is a manifestation of the human mind or that the earliest forms of God, which have evolved into the wishy-washy liberal form of deity I don't pretend to understand, were based on the sun and other natural forces which were more powerful than mankind. However, I am not proving the existence of those sun-gods but of that other type of God. I'm still, I think, an agnostic, in that I think the nature of God is unknowable and impossible for a human to even come close to approximating.

The Hunger Site

Feed the hungry

Google - Elmer Fudd (I know two search engines in one day)

I'm sorry that I think this is cool but one of googles many many languages is Elmer Fudd. It really just changes all the Rs and Ls to Ws (Pwefewences, Wanguage Toows, et cetewa). Anyway I thought it was funny.

Grokker - A New Way to Look at Search

Grokker - A New Way to Look at Search
I discovered this new search engine cause somebody, some how found me by searching with it. I can't figure out what they searched but it's a cool search engine for browsing, and it's fun to play with the graphics.

Coming soon: Why I Believe in God

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Economy noodles recipe

This recipe is one of my favorite foods. It's the closest thing I have to an old family recipe (it's handwritten in the back of The Enchanted Broccoli Forest). We haven't been able to make it for years because one of the main ingredients, szechuan peppercorns, was banned in the United States because of some sort of crop blight. But we found out they're legal again (heat treated to kill the canker) and my mom bought the biggest bag she could find on-line. We made it as soon as it arrived and stood around the kitchen counter eating it out of the bowl. Needless to say, half an hour later there was none left.
Anyway, here's recipe.
Note: This recipe doubles (and triples, quadruples, etc) well for potlucks.

Economy Noodles

3/4 LB. Linguini, cooked
3 Scallions, chopped
2 teaspoons Hot Chili Sesame Oil
2 teaspoons Sesame Oil
2 Tablespoons seasoned Rice Wine Vinegar
4 Tablespoons Sugar
1.5 teaspoons Salt
.5 teaspoons Pepper
.5 teaspoons ground Szechuan Peppercorns
4 Tablespoons Safflower Oil

1. Combine Scallions, Hot Oil, Sesame Oil, Vinegar, Sugar, Salt, Pepper, & Wild Pepper.
2. Heat Safflower Oil on stove until it smokes.
3. Pour hot oil into scallion mixture (make sure to use a big enough container that it won't splatter on you). Immediately pour over prepared pasta.
4. Serve room temperature or cold.

Friday, June 10, 2005

The final say on the Male Strippers

Not worth our time. strip Search falls just short of "So bad it's good." It lands just within the limits of so bad, but doesn't quite round the corner back to good. In order to overcome it's inherent gayness, it overcompensates with machoness (ie. Emphasizing it by making them take dance lessons with little girls, just in case we didn't see how different they are from little girls). The host, Billy Cross, is almost certainly gay. He's a pimp for male strippers, his job is deciding who's pretty enough. A straight man simply could not do it. Not too mention his clothes. It's also boring, and obvious that they eliminate based on who's boring and not necessarily who's bad. It's a waste of time. Porn is much easier.

Movie Critics (And Why I Hate Them)

This is really two posts, cleverly combined into one. First, my post about the movie Kontroll (Which is mindblowingly amazing) and second, why movie critics suck.
First, things first, Wednesday night, I saw the movie Kontroll. As I mentioned, it was awesometastic (It's not a word, it's better than a word.) The best way I can think of to describe it "Imagine if Fight club was set entirely in the subway, and filmed in Hungarian." But I really want to tell you as little as possible about this movie, because the less you know the better.
This is my new general philosophy, I want to know as little as possible about a movie going into, so that I can actually enjoy it fully. See I think movie reviewers over-write and generally ruin movies. There are a few basic mistakes they make.
1. Over-writing. Maybe this is some way for them to prove themselves, but a lot of reviewers seem to feel the need to write a complete academic essay on a movie. Take this example, from Premiere's review of Matchstick Men:
While the picture has a jazzy feel that a Larry Tate type might describe as “kicky,” Matchstick Men eschews the pillowy nostalgia that made the aforementioned Paul Newman–Robert Redford starrer so comfortable; it’s altogether more ruthless, which is part of the fun. (Sure, you’re thinking, “What about The Grifters?” but that’s exactly my point. The Grifters is a galvanizing morality play—Greek tragedy as full-color noir. The Sting was a lark, and so, finally, is Matchstick Men.)
Chatty, conversational, academic writing. Rereading that paragraph, I don't know whether or not I want to see Matchstick men, I just know that Glenn Kenny (the critic) has seen a lot more movies than I have. And finding those examples in reviews is way too easy, that was the second review I skimmed at
2. Spoilers. The common rule in writing is to back up what you say with examples. For Takeple. take the paragraph above, I used the example from the Premiere review to back up my claim about revieexcessivelyxcesively academic. But in movie reviews, this back fires. In addition to potentially spoiling important plot points, it makes you wonder when things are going to happen, instead of what's going to happen. I spent most of pulp fiction wondering when the rape scene would, instead of being suitably surprised and shocked by it.
3. Prejudice. Reading reviews slants you one way or the other towards a film. You might not have noticed that the lead actress mispronounces Massachusetts, but after the film critic in the Times points it out as flaw, you notice everytime. I find myself plagarizing critics when I discuss movies after I've seen them. Like they get in the of making my own decisions.
The less I find I know about a movie, the more I enjoy. For example, I saw The Fog of War, knowing absolutely nothing about it (I'd wanted to see something else, but got carded buying tickets). If I'd read reviews I probably wouldn't have even seen iactually actaully really liked it and recommend it.
So this summer, I've decided to swear off movie reviews completely, (sorry, Cinecast). I'm going to go in a blank slate. Will I end up seeing some bad movies? that'sbut thats what summers for, and when I see good movies, like Kontroll, I'll only enjoy them the more for not having them partially ruined for me.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The New Title (Idea), part 3

I thought of a new title, but I want to think it over a while before I put it up. I'd appreciate feedback on it if any of the three readers I'll have in the next day or two feel so inclined.
So I was thinking my title could be "Media Whore" and then my description would be "My standards are low, but not that low, honey." On the one hand it's pretty Queeney, on the other hand it better summarizes the theme and tone of the blog, while highlighting the irony of the "nice Jewish boy" name. I'll have to think about it. Again advice would be nice. I bet there's already a blog with that name isn't there. Read more about my titles at Part 1 and Part 2

Well almost Jon Stewart time... That man is a god. A fucking god.

PS. How can the blogger spell check not have "fucking" as a word (more importantly it doesn't see blogger as a word.)

Male Strippers On Basic Cable, Part 2

Yesterday I promised my review of strip search, proof that Vh1 is scraping the bottom of the reality barrel, and not finding a whole lot. I had the opportunity to watch it today... ehh, not so much.
The hosts, Rachel Perry and Billy Cross, have the same schtick as Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. The sweet pretty-much white girl who thinks everyone's a winner and the bitter, English/Aussie closet-queen who hates pretty much everybody. The guys generally aren't that hot, well, Mr. Cross dismissed a lot of the really hot guys as "too skinny" although most people just didn't have that "special something" he was looking for. How do I know this? Well, Vh1, in it's infinite folly, chose to cover their talent search in two long dull episodes, instead of a quick montage like most non idol reality-shows. (I don't watch Idol, but it's pretty hard to not know about it. I do actually have some standards) the boys are all straight, dumb, hip-hopping punk/gangsta's aka VH1's target audience, so no wonder I find them all insufferable and most of them unattractive.
I am going to give it one more try, partially because with the onset of summer break my time is much less valuable than it once was (last summer I watched the entire 1st season of The OC, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Well... maybe just a little.) but mainly because the upcoming episode shows the show it's more normal routine of 15 hot guys learning how to become strippers. No more "ambushes," open calls, and poorly improvised grinds to the Milkshake song (I hope).

God, I hate myself for even caring about this stuff! What happened to my sense of outrage over Bush and Downing Street et al. Madge made me feel bad for being apathetic on her show today, so now I can plug her podcast and be self-hating at the same time!! Goody

PS. Thank you to the anonymous person who commented. I love comments. I would write you back but I don't know who you are. Everyone else leave comments, too. That will make me happy.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Male Strippers? On Basic Cable? How did I not find out about this sooner? : Shows : Strip Search : Main Page
In a dramatic shift in content from my last post, but hardly a dramatic shift for VH1, there is now a new reality show for male strippers. It's basically Manhunt, without pretending to care about "fashion." Since I only just discovered strip search, I haven't been able to watch and review it yet, but I have some general impressions just from the website. First, it's a lot less... Gay than Manhunt. Manhunt was comfortable with it's feminine side, there was much discussion (in the two episodes I watched before I realized it wasn't worth the fleeting views of near-naked men to rot my mind so thoroughly) of make-up, clothes, et al. Plus two of the contestants were actually gay. really. Strip Search seems to be emphasizing straight men, and based on the promo, it's pretty testosterone pumped (fist fights, wrestling, et al). Ironically, since Strip Search is the one about stripping, Manhunt has way more/ better pictures of hot guys in little clothes. VH1's website sucked.

PS. Am I supposed to know/care who Rachel Perry is?
PPS. Don't dismiss me on this post alone, my last post was actually pretty smart/ not about naked guys... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Why I don't like Science

What, you say! Don't like science? What kind of Creationist bible-thumper are you?

But I really prefer a non-scientific world view. For me science is just antithetical to the more romantic/artistic way I think about the universe. Let me explain using a simple metaphor. Let's pretend there's a table. Someone with my world view and someone with a scientific world view approach said table.
Scientist: What is this table made of? Why does it act the way it acts?
Artist: Who made this table? Why did they make this table?

I may also be less inclined toward science because of my impending Chemistry final, which I am actively not studying for. However, this bias does not negate either my philosophy or my world view.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday

Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday
This one comic made me laugh out loud. Go read and enjoy. Also ogle at midlevel cuteness marten (old comics are low-level and new ones are highlevel)

Wicked(Spoiler Alert all through post)

I saw Wicked last night, on tour here in Chi-town. The play was mostly a disappointment.
If you've read the book will remember a dark political tragedy about failure and despotism. The musical had some of the politics, hints of the despotism and darkness but none of the failure and none of the tragedy. Act I was Mean Girls in Oz, and Act II was just confused.
While I sympathize with the writers of the adaptation who needed to appeal to a wider "family audience" in order to make a profit on an expensive production like Wicked (It can't be too hard to make a profit when you sell 28$ t-shirts). But little simplifications to streamline the production are not only justified but necessary,
What wasn't justified was the ending. At the end of the book, Elphaba (Aka the Wicked Witch) dies. Dorothy, bucket of water, "I'm melting, I'm melting" the whole deal. But in the play, she pretends to melt and runs away to live happily ever after with Fiyero (who's been long dead in the book.) By making her live, the adapters radically undermines the message of the original book. She fails, all is lost.
While I'm trashing it, I wasn't huge on the production itself, I thought it lacked magic. The tunes weren't hummable, and the magic simply didn't feel magical. There wasn't enough of a sense that this was anywhere beyond our world. And Galinda's understudy kept shaking her bosoms oddly... Is that normal for the production, that whenever she gets excited she shimmies or was that just the understudy?

I'm complaining a lot, but I had a good time. The show was a lot of the things I was led to believe it would be: smart, funny, & visually spectacular, well performed and written. The political undertones were easily the best element of the play, especially in the second act. The Wizard sings a song, that I swear, bush could sing:
I never saw myself
As a Solomon or Socrates
I knew who I was:
One of your dime a dozen

Then suddenly I'm here
Respected - worshipped, even
Just because the folks in Oz
Needed someone to believe in
Does it surprise you
I got hooked, and all too soon?

Not to mention several of the characters spoke malapropisms reminiscent of those our own chief is so renowned for. Those are mostly superficial examples, but the play, especially the second act is a lot about a government manipulating public opinion, excessively using fear tactics (one of the characters actually says something along the lines of "Terror is so terrifying"), and hiding their oppressive regime behind pretty slogans and spokespersons. If I'd finished this post Thursday, the day after I actually saw it, I'd remember some more examples.
The odd thing about that paradigm, though, is that it means that Elphaba, the heroin, is a terrorist... Interesting to think about.

After Downing Street.

Ok, anyone reading this. Here's Our homework for the week. Get ANGRY!!! I mean We need to get really really angry at George Bush, and then we need to go do something about it. Right now, for some reason, liberals aren't quite up-in-arms marching in the streets. And we need to be. We need signs and marches and songs (Yes, protest songs will invariably be the bane of music buffs existence). OK.
Go to After Downing Street dot Org, and note the utter lack of anger on their front page:
ADS is a coalition of veterans' groups, peace groups, and political activist groups, which launched on May 26, 2005, a campaign to urge the U.S. Congress to begin a formal investigation into whether President Bush has committed impeachable offenses in connection with the Iraq war.
Note the complete lack of anger, vim and vinegar. We liberals need to stop being pussies and do something. I'm tired of feeling helpless. I've felt helpless since before the election. I live in a very blue state, and I didn't really feel like there was a lot I could do, so I just sat back and watched. Now I feel sick about it. I want to DO something. I'm filling out the e-mail my congresspeople section now. It's worth it. I also signed the letter on their website twice, cause I spelled my name wrong by accident.
So look, go check at the website, and sit clenching your fists till you want to scream. Then take a deep breath and start getting the word out. No one reads my blog, so I'm not helping much, but maybe people read yours.
Spread the anger, I first got mine from, one of the blogs I read. Madge/whatever her man name (I can never remember) has been doing a good job spreading the rage. Hats to you.

Podcasting vs. Blogging (Me being self hating)

I went looking for some links to put in for tea-bagging in my last post, and believe or not, I ended up with a lot of porn. I also somehow wound up mired in the gay blogging circuit. I didn't find a whole lot interesting. I feel sort of selfish, cause I like keeping my blog here, but I don't really like reading other blogs that much.
Maybe I just haven't found the right ones, god knows I'm looking... Right now I'm more into the media forms that I can take in pseudo-passively. Like podcasts, the nice thing about a podcast is that once I've pressed play I can stop exerting some effort to consume it. I can also play a game, or ride the bus, do math homework, knit, clean my room, cook, even work on this sight. But reading is active, if I'm reading a blog then the only other thing I can do is maybe, maybe, listen to some background music.
It also takes me some effort to read continuously. If a podcast is mediocre, and some, even that I listen to, are, since it's passive I still listen. But a blog, being active, needs to be good for me to read. I tend to skip a lot, or just not be that interested.
OVersaturation. There are millions of blogs. Millions of them. That's a lot of blog to wade through. There are only maybe, maybe 5000 podcasts, it's a lot easier to find a podcast to listen to.
I would read the blogs of anyone who reads my site, but since I don't think anyone does, and none of you have told me I don't have any tips. It's seems my Xanga readers all abandoned me during the switch. Or my subtle shift from more personal to more content based posts alienated them. Maybe I'm forcing the switch unnaturally, and I should switch the content back. Or go out and comment on as many other blogs as possible.
The obvious solution is that I should simply become a podcaster, but I'm going to wait till the how-to book comes back, cause I don't know the first thing about how to set it up. Meantime, it does feel good to write everyday.

PS. If I ever start a hot guy of the week sort of thing, shoot me like ol yeller.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

The New Title, Pt. 2

I wanted to say a little more about my title. I have no idea what the fuck it's supposed to mean. It came to me all of a sudden, and I'm not sure where from or why. I think it's related to the fact that I was thinking about Band Names for my friends. Right now they're trying to decide between Little Swan and Earl Grey and the Tea-Baggers. I prefer the latter, but they have to concerns. A) they can't put it on posters at school and B) it's not "Indie" enough. By the way, if you don't know what teabagging is... ask someone else.
I don't love it, but I don't have any better ideas. my old title, the mock lower-east-side-Jewishy "Title For What do I need a title?" mimicked the sound of my Xanga's title " I should have a title: Or at least a clever tagling." I got one compliment on it, and so I kept it.

Speaking of which. At this stage, I have such low traffic that any encouragement would be encouraged. PLease email me (Bigblusam at aol dot com) and tell me you read it, at least, or leave a comment. I'd really appreciate it, cause my traffic is dropping and it's depressing.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Fiction, aka the story that will determine what college I go to

I'm too beat to come up with a whole new subject, or finish any drafts of posts I have going. Instead I'm going to post this story I wrote last night for my English Class. The class this quarter (Juniors and Seniors take quarter long electives instead of one core class all year)was sci-fi, and this story is the last thing my teacher will read before assigning me a grade that will go on my permanent transcript, and go out to all the schools I apply to to be an English major in Fall 06. Since my teacher hasn't really given any grades yet, I shouldn't have slacked on writing this story but I did. Any way, this introduction was way too long. I just wanted to put this in some context. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell a little about where the story came from.
Also, the story is copyright me, any copying or distribution of it that is not by the owner of this site, Nice_Jewish_Boy (who is too paranoid to post his real name), is wrong and illegal. And if you want to copy my stories, you really have poor taste.

The Picture

On Tuesday, I read a review of Smart Political Tragi-Comedy in Urban Intellectual Magazine. The movie stars Up-And-Coming Actor and Well-Respected Actress, with Overweight-Character Actor in a supporting role. The film, directed by Idiosyncratic-Indie Director, was supposed to be pretty good, according to Urban Intellectual Magazine, who liked the sort of things I liked.

I didn’t think much of it.

On Friday, I asked Wise-Cracking Friend, Quiet Friend, and Token-Black Friend if they wanted to see the picture on Saturday. None had heard of it.

“It was reviewed in Urban Intellectual Magazine,” I tell them, “Didn’t you read the review?”

“Didn’t they review Over-Budget Action-Adventure Epic, this week?” Says Token-Black Friend, who reads Urban Intellectual Magazine religiously.

“It was after that,” I tell him. But he has the magazine with him, and the movie

is not there. It is the same date, same Clever-Social-Commentary Cartoon, but not Smart Political Comedy. Smart Political Comedy is gone.

At home, my copy of Urban Intellectual Magazine is gone, and neither Over-Bearing Mother nor Emotionally Distant Father knows what happened to it.

According to Well-Respected Actresses Website, She hasn’t made a picture in two years, because she and Less-Famous-Musician Husband had a baby.

Idiosyncratic-Indie Director is in drug rehab. His career is slumping.

The movie doesn’t seem to exist anymore. Wise-Cracking Friend and I see Over-Budget Action Adventure Epic instead. We decide Urban Intellectual Magazine was too harsh Talentless Pretty-Boy Lead. A cardboard cutout of him wouldn’t fight Computer-Generated Monsters in quite the same way, Wise-Cracking Friend says.

I e-mail Urban Intellectual Magazine and get this curious response:

Dear Concerned Reader:

Due to a clerical error several subscribers received an issue of our magazine contained several typos in the film review of Over-Budget Action-Adventure Epic. All incorrect issues were replaced, gratis, with a corrected issue by our recovery staff. We apologize for any confusion.


Failed Novelists Turned Staff at Urban Intellectual Magazine.

I forget the matter, until Pompous-Self-Indulgent Awards Ceremony. Competing for main awards are Feel Good Bio-Pic, Feel Good Bio-Pic, Subtle Crime Thriller, Feel Good Bio-Pic, and High Brow Romance, co-starring Hip-Young Actor, Formerly Up-And-Coming. Hip-Young Actor tells Comedienne Hostess that he is wearing Main-Stream Designer Suit, then tells her how honored he feels to be nominated, then mentions Smart Political Tragi-Comedy. Cut to add for Deodorant-That-Will-Make-Women-Have-Sex-With-You. When the interviews return, Comedienne Hostess is talking to Rapper-Turned-Actor and Trophy-Wife 3.

Smart Political Tragi-Comedy is gone again. I right letters to the studio, Idiosyncratic-Indie Director, and Washed-Up Actress, formerly Well-Respected. (Hip Young Actor has died in Tragic Plane Crash).

Idiosyncratic-Indie Director writes.

Dear Concerned-Reader,

My last movie does not exist. I made no Smart Political Tragi-Comedy. Please do not refer to it again, it will only do you harm. See my new movie instead, Fawning Political Propaganda. Here are two free passes. I wish I could help you.

--Sell-Out Director, Formerly Idiosyncratic-Indie.

Token-Black-Friend and I see Smart Political Tragi-Comedy, Formerly Fawning Political Propaganda. It is not as good as Urban Intellectual Magazine says it is, but better than Liberal Newspaper Columnist made it out to be, by far.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

The New Title

I've Officially changed my title, because my old title sucked. This one kinda sucks too, but what can I do. If anyone has any suggestions for a title, I'd appreciate it.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

This is one of my all time favorite paintings. Also, nothing helps increase traffic like titties. JK. The painter was Piero di Cosimo, for you art history buffs. This is fun, now I wish I had more pictures.

I like taking pictures of random things. I just noticed this one and so, since I can, I'm posting it. Now I want to find my Digital camera.

My hat (yalmaka or kippah if you must)

My hat (yalmaka or kippah if you must)

OK, I didn't want this to post, I just wanted to put this as my profile pick. This is probably the nail in the coffin for any creepy stalker who's trying to identify me and hasn't been able to narrow it down yet. See I'm trying to use "Hello" but I didn't really understand it would post this. Oh well. :( While I'm here check out PostSecret, it's like Group Hug only 900 times cooler.