Sunday, May 14, 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006
The New Look
Returning Visitors may notice that I've switched to this bright citrusy new theme. They may also notice that the home page is no longer frozen on March 08. In fact I have made many, many new posts since them, but I tried using a program to clean up the html (which I'd mucked up customizing my template), so they no longer showed up on the home page.
So, now I'm another Blogger template clone. Oh well. I guess thats better than not having any new posts on my home page.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Psychological Profile by iPod
Via The Film Experience Blog
My iPod tells my future
1. How does the world see you?
It's not starting off well. Death on Two Legs by Queen.
2. Will I have a happy life?
Space Oddity by David Bowie. Apparently not.
3. What do my friends think of me?
Riffs And Variations On A Single Note For Jelly Roll, Earl Hines, Louis Armstrong, Baby Dodds, And The King of Swing, To Name A Few by Sufjan Stevens. Reports inconclusive
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Threshold of Revelation by Thomas Newman from the soundtrack to Angels in America. This one seems like good news.
5. How can I make myself happy?
This one is good news, too. Chocolate Explorers from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack by Danny Elfman. Apparently I'm already on the road to happiness.
6. What should I do with my life?
These Boots are Made For Walkin' by Nancy Sinatra. I coulda told you that. I'm getting as far away from my parents as possible (by going to school on the East Coast and then joining the decadent Entertainment Industry and leaving behind my parents, both of whom work in the non-profit sector trying to make the world a better place)
Authors note, all this bold, unbold, bold stuff plus Nathaniel's wierd Html formatting is giving me a fucking headache. I've accidentally published twice, then while deleting the more recent of the two publishings, crashed firefox, cuasing me to lose the incredibly witty things I wrote for 2 questions. So, I am now dispencing with all text formatting. My apologies.
7. Will I ever have children?
Stockings by Suzanne Vega. So, heres what I see happening. One night, I get very very drunk and a very, very seductive woman (I'm picturing Angelina Jolie) seduces me away from my sworn homosexuality for a night of awkward sex. Then she gets pregnant. That is the only possible way I can interpret this song.
8. What is some good advice for me?
Crimson and Clover by Simon and Garfunkel. So, I should get outside more.
9. How will I be remembered?
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Sarah Vaughan.
"Yet today my love has flown away
I am without my love
Now laughing friends deride
Tears I can not hide
Oh, so I smile and say"
Uggh, almost as bad as Death on Two Legs
10. What's my signature dance song?
She's Leaving Home by the Beatles. So, does this mean Angelina's baby leaves me? I'm lost... this isn't much of a dance song.
11. What's my current theme song?
Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. What do others think my current theme song is?
La Noyee, from the Amelie Soundtrack. This is one of the Happy Accordian Pieces. People think I'm a happy accordian, but really I'm dancing tranny.
13. What shall they play at my funeral?
"En Gallop" by Joanna Newsom. This song actually perfect. Both the music itself and the lyrics:
This place is damp and ghostly
I am already gone.
And the halls were lined with the disembodied
and dustly wings, which fell from flesh
if you don't already listen to Joanna Newsom, it's worth both buying her CD The Milk-Eyed Mender and listening past the initial she-sounds-like-a-munchkin reaction you'll have
14. What type of men do I like?
Honey Pie by the Beatles. I like British actors? But there are so many to choose from.
15. How's my love life?
Amsterdam by Coldplay. "Come on, my star is fading" I beg your pardon. Fading? Fading? I want a recount.
Clearly this was more trouble than it's worth. Feel free to follow suit, just set to shuffle, write down the first 15 songs, analyze and then link back to me. Please, me need linkies.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Fun with Scientology
Keep Katie Quiet - Presented by Addicting Games
Just found this game, you have to keep a flash person who looks suspiciously like Katie Holmes from screaming during childbirth by catching pills. When you beat a level, Tom Cruise congratulates you, but when you lose (and this is the only real reason to play) an alien comes to punish you and her. It's amazing.
That's what you get for ruining Batman Begins, bitch.
Apple Ad Update: Nerd Bust!
Ok, normally I wouldn't post twice on such an inane topic (I mean, this isn't the lick Steve Jobs' balls blog) but, I had this great screen cap of the Apple and PC guy "networking" (I'd hate to see them data transfer) and TV Squad found out who the cute guy was. I figured it was easier than inventing new material and better than another three fallow weeks.
So, I want a Mac. That's the moral of the story.
Apple - Get a Mac - Watch The TV Ads
Apple - Get a Mac - Watch The TV Ads
I haven't posted in a while (busy with schoolwork) but how could I resist an ad series in which a really hot guy personifies a Mac and the Daily Show's John Hodgman plays a PC, and the bicker like a gay couple nearing divorce.
It's gotta suck to be chosen to make the competitor look bad by association.
PS. Loyal readers know that I'd been busy applying to colleges. I didn't want to jinks it, so I kept the details off the site, but I am officially going to my top choice school, Bard College.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Big Love - spoilers, praise and hyperbole abound
Bearing in mind that I've already claimed that Lost, Invasion, and the Sopranos (and about 5 other shows... Pasadena, anyone?) to be the greatest show on television, was I the only one who was blown away by tonights episode of Big Love?
All the reviews said that tonight, episode five - "Affair," was when the show really started getting good. Now, I thought that the first four episodes were very good. Besides incredible acting (especially from Amanda Seyfried aka the "I can tell the weather with my boobs" girl in Mean Girls), Big Love managed to make almost an entire program fascinating simply through preoccupation with domestic logistics: who does the laundry? who cooks? whose turn is it to sleep with Bill?
At first tonights episode seemed mostly the same old. A couple minor characters began sparring with each other, some threatening phone calls were made, and Bill began fucking Barb out of order. Then the last ten minutes turned amazing.
Chloe Sevigny's Nicki suddenly, as the boys say, grew a pair and showed that maybe she's not Roman's Pawn/sexual plaything afterall. This was followed by the most bizarrely touching family scene I think I've ever seen, when Nicki announced her plan to have another baby (did anyone else think she was going to suggest a fourth wife?)
So Nicki appears to be almost as Machiavellian a schemer as Al Swearengen on Deadwood. Let the battle of the boss ladies begin.
PS. Can I ruin Lilo and Stitch for you? You know Rhonda, Roman's creepy fourteen year old wife? That's Lilo. Yep. I warned you.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Clerks II Trailer
Looks amazing. Or I wouldn't waste you're and my time with it.
Now, I thought Clerks 1 was slow and overrated, but I loved Dogma and thought Jay & Silent Bob was... decent at 1 AM on HBO 5. The thing I'm most looking forward to in this movie, though, is Kevin Weisman. He's the guy making fun of Star Wars. You might recognize him as the best character on Alias (before all it's characters turned into stale one notes in a less and less plausible world with less and less plausible excuses for Jennifer Garner to to dress like a hooker). Side notes aside, the guy is an amazingly talented comic actor, and I can't wait to see him get a little big screen face time.
The Simpsons: Bigger, Longer, and Uuncut
USATODAY.com - Mmmm, popcorn: A 'Simpsons' film in '07
Now, this could either be amazing or awful. The Simpsons has fallen on hard times of late (I stopped watching after about the fourth "_____ becomes a cop" episode) . Well, hard times as in, fans have now given it's throne to Family Guy/South Park, not that Bart and company aren't still raking in the dough.
Speaking of South Park, I can't wait to see more of Darth Chef.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Schindler's List: Uncircumcised
This is offensive.
Hillariously offensive. Now that I don't have to worry about college admissions people visiting and looking for something witty, I can post low-brow humor like this.
even if it seems offensive, the best joke is at the very end.
Thank you, B-squad, for making my day.